Men
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.Teach him how to fish and he will sitin a boat and drink beer all day.
At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his...
At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students humanreproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are bornwith a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, producemillions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" Oneyoung woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."
Men come in three sizes...
Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and Oh My God!!!
What is a mans best friend?
What is a man's best friend? His dick because it always sitcks up for him.
How is a man like a snow fall?
How is a man like a snow fall? -You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Have you heard the one about the...
Have you heard the one about the . . . . . . . recent survey on cigarettes which found that 90% of the men that tried Camels still prefer women.
What is the definition of ultimate rejection?
What is the definition of ultimate rejection? Your hand falling asleep while masturbating.
A fortunate twist of fate
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers."It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied."I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?""No sir, our mother.""Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!""I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FOR
THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FORCover charge: $15.00 Round of drinks: $23.00 Table dance: $30.00 Another round of drinks: $23.00 Couch dance and tips: $50.00 A round of shots: $34.00 A Bottle of Dom and a Limo home: 125.00 Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00 Sending her on her way and never having to hear her complain: PricelessFor everthing else.... There's MasterCard
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.
The way to a heart of a man
The way to a man's heart is through his feet(but you need a long knife).
Once some boys got together to play poker...
Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack.All his friends didn't know how to break the news to his wife, finally Johnny said: 'I can be diplomatic about it and break the news gently!'.Johnny rang the bell at Tim's house, and when his wife answered the door, he calmly said to her: 'Tim just gambled with us and lost 1,000 dollars!' When Tim's wife heard this she said: 'Tell him to just drop dead!' Johnny answered: 'That's exactly what he did!'.
Why a man cannot eat like a bird?
Why can't a man eat like a bird?Have you ever tried to pick up food with your pecker?Sent by Chris
Why do men like blonde jokes??
Why do men like blonde jokes?? Because they can understand them.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two to show off and shake the stove.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? - No one knows. Its never happened.
There was three guys, one with a rubber...
There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick,and one with a nine foot dick.The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard.The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the otherperson would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, "See that girl overthere? Bam. Got her."
Alcohol vs Women
A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.""Yeah what happened?" asked the other.The first guy replies, "Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."
Fatherly feelings
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband."A penny for your thoughts," she said."It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50."
What is a mans idea of foreplay?
What's a man's idea of foreplay? -A half-hour of begging.
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