Best Jokes

Joke text:

Redneck Jokes

you might be a red neck if you think the last words to the star spangled banner is "gentlemen start your engines"

What are the last words that a redneck usually says before he dies?"Hey ya'll. Watch this!"

You might be a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign still on it.

You might be a redneck if you've been married three timesand still have the same in-laws.

You might be a redneck if the centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

You might be a redneck if you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

You might be a redneck if you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You've ever used lard in bed.

You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.

You own more then three shirts with the sleeves cut off.

You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.

Your high school annual is now a mug shot book for the police department.

The highlight of your family reunion was your sister's nude dancing debut.

You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

There is a stuffed 'possum mounted anywhere in your home.

You consider a six pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.

Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.

You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather then hem them.